Honoring Yom Kippur (610:4)

August 15th, 2006

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For example, the shul should be well lit (and in the past was filled with lit candles) and the Shabbos tablecloths should be set even at home [Rema 4, cf Bais yosef 2 and Darkei Moshe 4]. Similarly, men and women should wear clean and honorable clothing.

Men have a minhag to wear a “kittel”. Two reasons are given: (1) In sefer Daniel the malach is wearing linen clothing, “ish levush habad” and on yom Kippur we behave in an angelic manner. (See Tur 606 at the end for a list of some of these manners) (2) Since a kittel is used as a shroud, by wearing a kittel it reminds us of that point at the end of life which induces a broken and humbled state consistent with yom kippur theme. [Rema 4]

There is also a minhag for each married man to light a candle that remains lit until after Yom kippur. If the light goes out one must not even hint to a non-Jew to relight it [MB 13]. This light may be used as a source of light after Yom Kippur to use for Havdalah. [MB 624:14]

To Add on to Yom Kippur’s Start and End (608:1)

August 14th, 2006

One must stop eating and drinking on Erev Yom Kippur even before bain hashmoshos since there is a mitzvah to be “mosif maichol al hakodesh”, to add from the regular to the holiness of Yom Kippur[SA 1]. Similarly, one must add on to Yom Kippur on Motzai Yom Kippur as well [MB 1]. This is learned from a pasuk [MB 1].
The amount of time to add is not stated in the Gemara but it is more than a minute amount [SA 1]. However, the Chayei Adam writes that one should add a little more than 15 minutes [MB 1].

This additional time is before “bain hashmoshos” which begins at sunset, when the disc of the sun is completely beneath the horizon [MB 2 n the name of Gra and other Rishonim].(The opinion of SA is that bain hashmoshos is somewhat later, following the opinion of Rabenu Tam. However, the opinion of MB citing Gra is the current normative halacha in most places, certainly when an issur deOraysa is involved.)

Malkus on Erev Yom Kippur (607:6)

August 13th, 2006

There is an old minhag for each person to receive malkus ( i.e. 39 lashes) on erev Yom Kippur to instill in the subject the need to do teshuva[SA 1]. This malkus is performed with any strap, preferably bovine, and the lashing is performed softly [Rema 6] since the malkus act only as a commemoration of true malkus [ibid].

The person who is giving the malkus should recite “vehu rachum” 3 times and the receiver of malkus recites vidui (ashamnu, badnu, etc) bent over facing North. MB cites Taz that the reason for facing North is to stress that most aveiros are caused by monetary matters as is stated “From North the gold is brought” [MB 21].

(From Rema it is clear that this malkus does not actually take the place of real malkus and is not a kaparah since the malkus are not done with force. However the Bais Yosef questions this and maintains that it should act as a partial kaparah. See Yoreh Deah 157 where Bais Yosef in Bedek Habayis discussed how even nowadays one can perform teshuva and receive malkus which will be a kaparah. Also see Orach Chaim 237 where the Tur writes that one reason we say Vehu Rachum before Maariv is because people used to receive malkus before maariv and “vehu rachuim” is said then.)

Immersing in a Mikveh on Erev Yom Kippur (606:4)

August 11th, 2006

There is an ancient minhag to immerse in a mikveh on Erev Yom Kippur. This is based on Pirkei d’Rebbi Eliezer (46) that one should be pure on Yom Kippur like angels and on the Gemara that one should be metaher himself before Yom Tov.

There are two reasons for this tevila:
1. To purify one’s self from impurities, particularly tumas ba’al keri (seminal emmision) [Rema 4]
2. For teshuva, similar to the tevilah of a ger who is tovel when he enters a new state of kedushas yisrael. [MB 21] Some immerse 3 times and say vidui before immersing in accordance with this reason. If vidui is said one should be careful not to say Hashem’s name in the ikveh, where unclothed people are. [MB] SH writes it is best to omit vidui out of concern of this concern.
No bracha is said on this tevila since it is only a minhag [SA 4] (although Rav Saadia was of the opinion that one makes a bracha [Tur]).

Asking Forgiveness on Erev Yom Kippur (606:1)

August 10th, 2006

Interpersonal aveiros are not atoned on Yom kippur until the offended party is asked for forgiveness. Even verbal offenses require forgiveness. If the offended party is not appeased during the first request, he should be asked two more times in the presence of 3 men [606:1] using a different approach then previous times [MB 3]. After three attempts one need not continue asking for forgiveness unless the offended party is his Rebbi (i.e. he learned any Torah from him) in which case there is no limit.

The offended party should not be cruel and should grant forgiveness unless his refusal is in the best interests of the offender, or if the offense involved defamation of character. [Rema 1]

Food For Thought

1. MB 5 writes that one may request forgiveness after 3 times, if it does not involve bizayon haTorah (a degradation in the Torah). If a person is absolved of asking forgiveness after 3 times and is, effectively, absolved of that need and will be atoned on yom Kippur, what is the point of asking?

Answer: The Rosh (Yoma 8:24) and Tur write, citing Pirkei d’Rebbi Eliezer (46) that on yomi kippur Klal yisrael is like angels in a number of ways. One way mentioned is that just as angels have peace between them, so too does klal Yisrael on Yom Kippur. Therefore, the conclude that one should resolve outstanding arguments before Yom kippur. Rosh gives an example of a case involving Rav and a butcher, where the butcher owed an apology to Rav, yet on Erev om Kippur, Rav approached the buthcer to resolve the issue (Yoma 87b)

Thus, even if one is not required to ask for forgiveness so that his sins will be atoned, he should do so to make peace before Yom Kippu begins.
(Despite that there is no need to ask, it is midas chassidus, to do so. The kapparah of YK, though, is intact despite not asking. There are many instances where multiple levels of teshuvah exist. For example, there are times where one must perform an action only latzais ydai shamayim, and times only as an act of chassidus. (Furthermore, Gr’A in Mishlei writes, based on Gemara Bava Metziah) that very scrupulous people must perform items that are only middas chassidus and it is not simply an option for them.))

2. SH 2 writes that where gezel and ona’ah are involved, one may not wait until Erev Yom Kippur to return the gezel since it is incumbent upon him to perform the mitzvah of hashavas hagezilah every moment since the mitzvah of hashavas hagezeilah fixed the issur. It is thus like Shma and Lulav that one must perform the mitzvah in their proper time.

How it the mitzvah of teshuvah any different, since teshuvah also is a required mitzvah to return to Hashem after sinning — yet one may delay asking forgiveness, if needed, as discussed in MB1.

Nachem and Aneinu on Tisha Be’Av (557:1)

May 31st, 2006

On Tisha Be’Av one adds the tefila of Nachem in the bracha of Boneh Yerushalyim and Aneinu in Shomeah Tefila. The chazan adds Aneinu immediately before Refa’einu (MB 3). If one omited them he does not repeat the Amidah. [SA 1]
According to the Mechaber ,Nachem and Aneinu are added into each tefila of Tisha Be’Av. The Rema, however, records the established minhag that they are recited only during Mincha. The chazan, however, recites Aneinu duirng Shachris [MB 3].

If one eats on Tisha Be’Av (e.g. due to a medical emergency) he should recite Nachem in Bircas Hamazon before Uvnei Yerushalyim [Rema]. The MB [4] cites dissenting opinions. In any event, Biracas Hamazon is not repeated if it was omited.

Engagements During the Three Weeks and Nine Days(551:2)

May 7th, 2006

During the “Nine Days” (from Rosh Chodesh Av until noon on the Tenth of Av [cf 558:1] one must avoid joyful events as an act of mourning the destruction of the Bais Hamikdash [551:2, 549:1 and MB]. Therefore, one may not get married during this period. Among Ashkenazim this is extended to include the “3 weeks” starting on Tamuz 17 [Rema].

It is permissible to get engaged, write tena’im  and serve light refreshments during the nine days but one may not have a se’udah (meal) to celebrate the event [MB 16]. Dancing and music is also assur.[ibid]

Yom Tov Preparations on Erev Yom Tov During Shiva (548:10)

May 1st, 2006

One who is in the middle of observing shiva (i.e. before the seventh day of shiva) on Erev Yom Tov, may perform activities that are normally prohibited during shiva. This is because he is not allowed to do them on Yom Tov [MB 36].

For example, one may launder his clothing and according to some wash up on Erev Yom Tov. All other shiva activities (e.g. sitting on the floor and not wearing leather shoes) are observed until sundown [MB 39]. The Mechaber maintains that laundering is permitted after chatzos and washing only after davening mincha within two hours of sundown [MB 40, explaining SA], while others allow them only closer to sundown (Rema 8 ) or not at all (see Rema for differing minhagim).

The prevalent minhag is to allow laundering and washing on Erev Yom Tov, where some allow only washing in cold water (i.e. water that is not comfortably warm) until Chol HaMoed [MB 42].

Shiva before Yom Tov (548:7)

April 30th, 2006

If one observed shiva before Yom Tov — even for a short amount of time [MB 26] — Yom Tov removes the shiva obligation. There is no continuation of shiva either on yom Tov or afterwards [SA 7]. Furthermore, as far as shloshim is concerned, it is as if the seven days of shiva were completely observed. Thus, after Pesach one would only observe an additional 15 days to complete shloshim (7 days of shiva + 8 days of Yom tov + 15 additional days = 30 days of shloshim.) [SA 12]

Mourning on Yom Tov and Chol HaMoed (548:5)

April 30th, 2006

Although public exhibitions of mourning (shiva) do not take place on Yom Tov and Chol HaMoed, privately one must conduct himself in a manner that is consistent with mourning [SA 5]. For example, a mourner must refrain from bathing in hot water, marital relations and learning Torah, like a mourner during the rest of the year. There are opinions that allow Torah study but it is best to avoid getting a necessary aliyah, as opposed to a hosafah (added aliyah) [MB 16].